A sincere seeker eventually finds. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go but we often hold on more than we let go of life. In holding on we are the separate self or ego we experience and in letting go we lose the sense of self and forget ourselves and merge with everything into Oneness.
We are always One with everything and just because we don't feel it doesn't mean we're not, just because you don't see the stars during the day doesn't mean they're not up there. To be truly alive one must die while still alive, that is one must premeditate on their own death so often to the point they are comfortable with their own death.
This Being is an happening, that is we don't beat our heart, we don't conduct digestion, we don't grow our hair but we're always in our own way not letting our being happen by itself thinking we're a separate entity that is in control of the Being. It is difficult to find One's Authentic Self when you're always in the company of others that's why practicing moments of solitude is so important in this regard.
Seeing this cabin, I am getting the urge to build a bunker somewhat like the cabin. It looks like a very peaceful place to be after my mind gets used to the quiet noise.
When I read about your darkness retreat first, I imagined a scary, empty, dark room one gets locked into. Seeing the little walk through of the cabin made it less freighting. Nevertheless, it is very brave to spend three days in darkness. Thank you for sharing your experience. For me, you didn't make it better or worse than it was. I appreciate this realistic version very much.
It was never scary or claustrophobic. If anything, the moment the candle faded out it felt as wide open as outer space. It sounds cliche, but it had a "womb like" feeling several times, which brought me feelings of deep safety and joy.
Wow, I'm super impressed with your story and your commitment to this project. I'd never heard of dark retreats before but in a way, as l've become older and live alone I have surrendered to my desire to live in the dark, weird as that sounds. As someone with delayed sleep phase syndrome on a non-24-hour clock (no control over sleep patterns), l've learned to embrace the dark, often go for long drives, even cross-country, in the wee hours and find the arms of darkness very comforting. Unhindered by the light of day and the buzz of civilization, it's there you can touch at least the edge of Truth. PS
Hi Susan, thank you. After experiencing this retreat I have a slight feeling I know what you mean. There was/is something very soft, open, and inviting about the darkness. I can only imagine how disruptive the sleep patterns can be, but it sounds like there are surprises and blessings tucked in there too.
Love this and how brave you are to continue meeting yourself in a variety of ways. It inspires me. Also, love that whole Hozier record. It seems to be loosely based on Dante—or at least that's what comes through to me. Descent, darkness, ascent, and re-emergence into the world. The whole things feels like a ceremony. I like it a lot.
Thanks man, that means a lot. And yeah, that Hozier record is based on Dante. My daughter is a superfan and gave me the whole lowdown. Wasteland Baby is still my all time favorite, but this latest album is poetic on a different level.
Thank you Kevin. I took time to sit with your words this morning, before my day fully begins. I appreciate the video, the feel of the symphony hall and the music that it holds...the quiet before it begins...the quiet when it ends. It takes courage or depth or something that involves leaning into God or nothingness I find quite brave when I feel into it.
It does take courage. One of the most beautiful explanations I've heard comes from Rupert Spira. He said we're like moths drawn to a flame, but we know instinctively that going into the flame, merging with what we most want, means death. So we get close and then back off, but then are irresistibly drawn back to the light. Thank you for sitting with my words and sharing this journey with me. I appreciate you.
Yes, and then maybe the death is not what it seems...love the image. I appreciate you too Kevin. A lot. Thank you for sharing what it is like to step into the darkness and see what is there.
Thanks for sharing! The sweet darkness. In the dark does the experience of the other senses heighten or does it all melt into something beyond? Bless you.
I definitely became more aware through hearing and the felt-sense of my body, but I mostly felt no division between the darkness and myself. Like my awareness filled the room with the darkness. It was a strange but strangely familiar sensation.
It was more refreshing than I expected. I’ve never felt the kind of safety I experienced in the dark. As strange as it sounds, it felt like the darkness was holding me. Such a unique and joyful experience.
I am even more amazed by the man who emerged from the darkness and found his inner light once again. So proud of you! ♥️
🤗
Well said. And ultimately, nothing and no one is ever truly found because there was no one who was lost to begin with. Haha.
Wow, the thing that would be most difficult for me is using the toilet in the dark. 😅 Must feel really weird.
It definitely was, but I got used to it pretty quickly. Eating in the dark, especially salad with a fork, was harder. 😆
Did you try eating with your hands?
A sincere seeker eventually finds. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go but we often hold on more than we let go of life. In holding on we are the separate self or ego we experience and in letting go we lose the sense of self and forget ourselves and merge with everything into Oneness.
We are always One with everything and just because we don't feel it doesn't mean we're not, just because you don't see the stars during the day doesn't mean they're not up there. To be truly alive one must die while still alive, that is one must premeditate on their own death so often to the point they are comfortable with their own death.
This Being is an happening, that is we don't beat our heart, we don't conduct digestion, we don't grow our hair but we're always in our own way not letting our being happen by itself thinking we're a separate entity that is in control of the Being. It is difficult to find One's Authentic Self when you're always in the company of others that's why practicing moments of solitude is so important in this regard.
Seeing this cabin, I am getting the urge to build a bunker somewhat like the cabin. It looks like a very peaceful place to be after my mind gets used to the quiet noise.
So so peaceful. If you can do it, I highly recommend building something like that if you enjoy stillness and solitude.
When I read about your darkness retreat first, I imagined a scary, empty, dark room one gets locked into. Seeing the little walk through of the cabin made it less freighting. Nevertheless, it is very brave to spend three days in darkness. Thank you for sharing your experience. For me, you didn't make it better or worse than it was. I appreciate this realistic version very much.
It was never scary or claustrophobic. If anything, the moment the candle faded out it felt as wide open as outer space. It sounds cliche, but it had a "womb like" feeling several times, which brought me feelings of deep safety and joy.
Fantastic write-up
Thanks man. It's not Vipassana sitting, though. At least I could lay down whenever I wanted. : )
Wow, I'm super impressed with your story and your commitment to this project. I'd never heard of dark retreats before but in a way, as l've become older and live alone I have surrendered to my desire to live in the dark, weird as that sounds. As someone with delayed sleep phase syndrome on a non-24-hour clock (no control over sleep patterns), l've learned to embrace the dark, often go for long drives, even cross-country, in the wee hours and find the arms of darkness very comforting. Unhindered by the light of day and the buzz of civilization, it's there you can touch at least the edge of Truth. PS
Also a Hozier fan.
Hi Susan, thank you. After experiencing this retreat I have a slight feeling I know what you mean. There was/is something very soft, open, and inviting about the darkness. I can only imagine how disruptive the sleep patterns can be, but it sounds like there are surprises and blessings tucked in there too.
P.S. Yeah, Hozier is the best.
Very cool and great write up!!!
Thanks Scott! It was quite an experience. So so glad I was able to do it.
A beautiful and profound summary; thank you so much for sharing 🙏
Love this and how brave you are to continue meeting yourself in a variety of ways. It inspires me. Also, love that whole Hozier record. It seems to be loosely based on Dante—or at least that's what comes through to me. Descent, darkness, ascent, and re-emergence into the world. The whole things feels like a ceremony. I like it a lot.
Thanks man, that means a lot. And yeah, that Hozier record is based on Dante. My daughter is a superfan and gave me the whole lowdown. Wasteland Baby is still my all time favorite, but this latest album is poetic on a different level.
I like all his stuff. I need to get Wasteland on LP. New one, too.
Thank you Kevin. I took time to sit with your words this morning, before my day fully begins. I appreciate the video, the feel of the symphony hall and the music that it holds...the quiet before it begins...the quiet when it ends. It takes courage or depth or something that involves leaning into God or nothingness I find quite brave when I feel into it.
It does take courage. One of the most beautiful explanations I've heard comes from Rupert Spira. He said we're like moths drawn to a flame, but we know instinctively that going into the flame, merging with what we most want, means death. So we get close and then back off, but then are irresistibly drawn back to the light. Thank you for sitting with my words and sharing this journey with me. I appreciate you.
Yes, and then maybe the death is not what it seems...love the image. I appreciate you too Kevin. A lot. Thank you for sharing what it is like to step into the darkness and see what is there.
🙏🏼
I suspect this is how you'd feel if you suddenly went blind and had to learn to live all over again. What an experience.
I thought that several times and then was immediately grateful for my sight.
Right?? We are blessed!
Thanks for sharing! The sweet darkness. In the dark does the experience of the other senses heighten or does it all melt into something beyond? Bless you.
I definitely became more aware through hearing and the felt-sense of my body, but I mostly felt no division between the darkness and myself. Like my awareness filled the room with the darkness. It was a strange but strangely familiar sensation.
Beautifully written summary of one of those experiences so expansive they can be hard to encapsulate into words.
May we all live a "delicious" life, stepping out of that trance of autopilot.
Awww... you are a brave soul. My military days made me so hesitate to being outdoors in a retreat setting. I’m sure it was refreshing though.
It was more refreshing than I expected. I’ve never felt the kind of safety I experienced in the dark. As strange as it sounds, it felt like the darkness was holding me. Such a unique and joyful experience.