A week ago, I bolted awake at 3:37 A.M. to a Tilt-a-Whirl of vertigo thoughts and emotions. My breathing was quick and shallow. My pulse drummed in my ears and, for a moment, I wondered if I was having a heart attack. Once I realized I wasn’t, I breathed myself into a better state, slowed my heart, and relaxed a bit. Still, sleep was out of the question so I just lay there until the sun came up, watching my thoughts, and feeling what I was feeling, which was mostly sadness.
This is beautifully written. Gentle and heart felt. You describe how so many of us feel at the moment with an eloquence and poetry that I can struggle to find myself. Especially amongst all the tissues that need to be used to wipe the tears in the process of getting the emotion out and onto the page. Thank you. Jo
Beautiful writing. Raw, Vulnerable and Soothing words remind us of our human plight and our human nature. We can't escape. We can't shut off. We must feel our way out. Together.
Beautiful piece, one of my favorites. I think there's a sense that we want to feel as if "we've got everything handled, and everything is taken care of"—it can be harder to allow the other spectrum of feeling, which is "everything is a lot, and everything does not feel taken care of." Really lovely piece. The conversations with your wife in particular felt nearly cinematic.
Thank you, Kevin. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your longing for a better world. Words are healing. In a world where a lot of us are collectively, holding our breath, you’ve given us permission to breathe out. To feel seen. To know it’s OK to be angry and disgusted. I agree there’s no bypass on this human experience. We are here to feel it all. The whole guest house of emotions. It’s hard not to think of Rilke telling us to go to the limits of our longing. To feel everything, the beauty and the terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
The only way out is through, and the only way through is together. Showing up as the best possible version of ourselves. It definitely starts on the inside in each of us. Count me on your team Kevin. Thank you for being you, and for being a witness. Thank you for the gift of your spirit and your beautiful way with words. Stories move us and you, my friend are a poet. I choose love. Bless you.
Thank you for putting this feeling into words. I have been attempting to describe the "uneasiness" I feel about existence right now. The best I kept arriving at was "it feels surreal" but that isn't the right word, or that word isn't dark enough. Surreal conjures visions of Salvador Dali artworks, and I like Dali, a lot...I don't like anything about what I am seeing and hearing from my fellow humans now.
Beautifully put! You described what I have been feeling, “humanity is going through a midlife crisis.”
I feel your heart 100%.
Thank you for sharing. I, like you, tend to be really calm, and also to tend to feel a lot. It wasn't until a handful of years ago that someone told me kindly that I'm "sensitive", and I realized yes, that is the right word for me!
I've written in the past too (even recently: https://doingthewritething.substack.com/p/writing-tip-7-know-what-your-character) about how there is a lot going on and a lot to feel, and how important it is to be kind to yourself and to the people around you.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this piece. So raw and so beautifully put.
Resonated deeply. Thank you for articulating so beautifully what many of us feel. Life has felt "scratchy" the last few weeks. The image that comes to mind is a snake shedding an old skin ... and as you rightly say, the only way is through, even if it is uncomfortable.
One of your best. And I thought I was the only one!
More like this, please. :)
Thank you, Kevin for sharing this thoughtful piece. I salute you. Stay strong.
beautiful kevin, cosmic adolescents we are indeed ☄️