What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do Next

A Simple Guide to Finding Clarity Through Your Intuition

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Everyone eventually comes to the edge of the maps they’ve been given to navigate life. For modern humans, this often happens sometime between ages 35-55.

Here at the mysterious meeting place of the Known and Unknown, our compasses, which we’ve relied on to this point, spin erratically and are no longer able to point us to True North.

Here, we’re faced with three options:

a) Stay stuck where we are

b) Wander aimlessly

c) Find a new way to navigate

It’s easy to get stuck here, feeling exposed, and unsure of what to do next when the old ways you’ve relied on for making choices stop working.

The default action is to seek out others for guidance—self-help books or conferences, therapists, coaches, mentors, and the like. These can be helpful in taking first steps, and I’ve benefited from all of these to navigate different phases of life.

However, the most effective and impactful guides I’ve had in life were the ones who reminded me that I was stuck because I no longer trust myself.

They reminded me that my greatest longing is to explore the unmapped parts of life and, in order to find my own way, I would need to tap into a greater sense of knowing, an intuitive guidance system that exists in all of us.

To find True North, I would need to remember how to trust my Inner Guide, my intuition.

I say “remember” because we all recognize the True Voice within us. When we're kids, we naturally rely on our intuition. We don't struggle to figure things out or try to make choices based on weighing pro’s and con’s. We simply and naturally trust ourselves.

It's only as we get older that we learn to distrust our inner voice, and instead rely on the rational mind. We never lose connection with our intuition, but over the years this inner voice becomes quieter for most of us until its high-definition signal is lost in the static of thinking.

When You Don’t Know What to Do

If you don't know what to do next, there is a simple way that you can begin to refocus your attention on that inner intuitive voice, which is trustworthy and can give you clear guidance.

I've experimented with the following five-step method on myself, and recently practiced it with a few friends and clients.

This experiment has led to:

• Less anxiety

• More ease

• More clarity of mind

• Greater sense of inner alignment

• Surprisingly clear answers to questions

There are many ways to access your intuition, but if you’re struggling with getting started, I encourage you to experiment with this simple practice.

All you need is 10 minutes and willingness to try.

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Want to practice with others? Join my September Intuition Challenge.

Today’s issue is all about intuition. During the month of September, I’m doing a 30-day challenge and devoting intentional time each day to deepening my Intuition. You’re invited to join me.

If you’d like to participate in a community of practice with others, I will be hosting two Zoom gatherings in September (Sep 3rd and Sep 30th) so we can practice together, and I will also be answering questions. The Community of Practice sessions are open to paid subscribers, and will also include guided audio recordings. If you want to join in, click below!

If you prefer to fly solo (free), you’ll find the basic practice details below in today’s essay to help you get started. We’re better together, though, so I hope you join in with the community.

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Step 1: Quiet the mind. (2 mins)

Modern life keeps us all in a constant low-grade state of alertness and anxiety, so it’s necessary to down-regulate your nervous system, which naturally quiets the mind.

All of the world's spiritual traditions agree with the latest innovations on somatic and nervous system regulation—or is it the other way around?

For millennia, spiritual traditions have said it's the mind that creates suffering. In order to access the truth, one must go beyond the mind.

One of the most reliable ways to do that is by using intentional breath. There are many widely accepted studies on the use of breath to calm the mind, which have made breathwork a mainstream modality used in hospitals, therapy sessions, and even in the military.

The physiological sigh, or the double inhale, is the preferred breath technique I use. It’s simple and can be done anywhere.

Simply sit quietly and, with eyes closed, take one long deep inhale through the nose. At the top of the inhale, take one last sip of air to “top off” your lungs fully. When you exhale, make an audible sigh and relax.

You can do this technique for as little as 30 seconds and, really, as long as you want. I recommend doing this technique for 1-3 minutes.

2. Sense your surroundings. (2 mins)

After you’ve completed Step 1, continue breathing naturally.

Keeping your eyes closed, become aware of your physical surroundings. Use all of your senses to “reach” your awareness in all directions and notice what is happening in your environment. The technical term for this is called exteroception.

Sense the space of the room you’re in, the temperature of the air on your skin, the sounds and smells. I find it helpful to imagine there is a lens or shutter in the center of my chest, much like a camera shutter. The more I relax, the wider this aperture opens, allowing more light in.

With each inhale, try to “draw” in as much sense-information as you can. Notice that you don’t need thought to do any of this. All of your sense-perceptions are immediate and direct.

Thinking is always a second step. First, you experience something and then your mind labels it (i.e. “It’s cool in the room. I hear a dog in the distance.”). Notice the immediate, direct experience of those sensations. Thinking is unnecessary.

3. Turn your attention inward. (2 mins)

Now, turn your attention to your inner landscape. In somatic practice this is called interoception.

Notice the sensations inside your body. Bring your awareness into your chest, your feet, your hands. Notice the pressure of your body against the floor or the chair. See if you can feel your own heartbeat or the subtle buzzing of the aliveness inside your limbs.

And as you do this, recognize your own awareness. All of the sensations you’re noticing appear within awareness. You are conscious of the sensations.

It’s important to recognize that the awareness with which all of these things are noticed—externally and internally—is not itself a sensation, thought, or feeling. This is your essential nature.

This is who you are beyond the mind. In fact, the thinking mind appears within this clear awareness, which you are. Thoughts come and go, but you do not come and go. Sensations come and go, but your clear and open awareness never moves.

4. Ask for clarity. (2-4 mins)

As you are relaxed into this clear awareness ask yourself a question. Here are some that I have found most helpful:

“What is most essential to know right now?”

“What is keeping me stuck right now?”

“What do I need to heal in my life?”

Then wait and listen, but listen with your whole self in the same way you did in Steps 2 and 3.

Pay attention to any feelings arising, impressions, or images. Maybe words or phrases. Whatever comes up, I want you to notice the texture of it. Intuition is a knowingness different than thinking.

The mind thinks, but the heart knows.

You're not figuring anything out mentally. You’re knowing. Notice what answers come up to your question and make a note of them. Write them down. I’ve begun keeping an intuition journal to help me.

What if nothing comes to you? Don’t worry. Keep practicing. We’re all in the life-long habit of relying on thinking so much it can take time to re-acquaint ourselves with our deeper knowing. It can be like scanning a radio dial in search of the clear station you want. Be patient.

How can you be sure what you sense is trustworthy? You’ll know by taking action on it, which is the last step.

5. Act.

Most important of all is to take action on what you sense. This requires stepping into fear or uncertainty. In fact, fear often points the way you need to go, or the choice you don’t want to make that you know must be made.

Begin to act on what you intuit. Trust what comes and apply it. This is a process of trial and error, learning to discern the often subtle differences between mind-stuff and intuition.

It’s important to notice the felt-sense of knowing that you know. As you take action and discover you were “on” with your intuition, note how that feels in your body, because you’ll begin to build familiarity that leads to confidence and certainty.

In the same way, if an intuition turns out to be “inaccurate” notice how that felt in your body, too. With time, you’ll begin to notice the distinct “signatures” of each kind of experience.

Final Words

From my perspective, our life’s true purpose is to know ourselves. It is an infinite game without end. Much like going east, it is a direction and not a destination at which you ever arrive.

You can try to figure things out with your mind, but it’s the ultimately the wrong tool for navigating.

Thankfully, you were born with the most reliable guidance system, which is already inside of you. To be more accurate, it is you. Self-mastery and the deeply fulfilling life you most desire can only be found with this guidance system because it’s attuned to True North.

All you need to do is learn to listen, pay attention to it, and then act on it.

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Want to become attuned to your Inner Voice? Join the Intuition Challenge (September)

During the month of September, I’m doing a 30-day challenge and devoting 10 minutes each day to deepening my Intuition Practice. You’re invited to join me.

If you’d like to participate in a community of practice with others, I will be hosting two Zoom gatherings in September (Sep 3 and Sep 30) so we can practice together, and I will also be answering questions. The Community of Practice sessions are open to paid subscribers, and will also include guided audio recordings. If you want to join in, click below!

If you prefer to fly solo, you’ll find the practice details below in today’s essay to help you get started. We’re better together, though, so I hope you join in with the community.

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