48.25?! I have totally done this: on a tight budget, checking out with a basket full of groceries, hoping the total doesn't hit THAT number and instead hits the OTHER number that I have in my bank account, and then as I'm watching the checkout clerk drag items across the scanner, I curse under my breath as it surprisingly jumps fifteen dollars over what I hoped it would be, wondering why we ever thought we needed asparagus this week.
I laughed out loud about this. It’s funny how much resistance prices can bring up. But prices are just prices. But the grocery bill, especially if you have kids, is a recipe for a bad mood. Sometimes I try reversing this- saying, yay I’m so grateful I’ve got that 48$ for chicken. And we definitely need the asparagus.
This essay is so amazingly good. Exquisite, even. Thank you from the heart. As I read it, I noticed it resonating in my thoughts and soul space with some other people's articulations of the same point, as vividly insightful writings like this always do. Sailor Bob Adamson and his famous line, "What's wrong with right now if you don't think about it?" Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay on the Over-Soul pointing out that if you really do believe in this shared center of being, then you have to accept and embrace that the daily events of life's unfolding are exactly as they should be all the time, just as much when things don't go "your way" is when they do go "your way." J. Krishnamurti's famous offer to that California crowd, "Would you like to know my secret?" followed by his conventionally anticlimactic statement, "I don't mind what happens." Your essay pairs quite nicely with all of those, with a very helpful inclusion of current and updated cultural references to drive home the ever-present applicability of the point.
Thank you for the kind words, Matt. That means a lot. You're the only person who has ever mentioned Sailor Bob Adamson. I love that guy... and John Wheeler as well. As far as spiritual literature goes, I find they're both greatly under-appreciated. I love their pointings, as well as Krishnamurti and Emerson. I'm glad I was able to add a little something to the conversation.
John Wheeler may be the single most important nondual writer/exponent for me at this point. Both his style of expression and his specific angle of speaking about nonduality articulate and clarify my own deepest intuition, my own first-person seeing, to an extent that few others have ever done. I regret that I came to him late, apparently after the end of his public teaching career.
The other two who have bowled me over and assumed preeminent place in the past few years are David Carse with his PERFECT BRILLIANT STILLNESS and William Samuel with his A GUIDE TO AWARENESS AND TRANQUILITY. I think they came to me at just the right point. Formerly, in past years, I would have read them and felt an intense and tantalizing longing to see, understand, and experience what they describe and point to. As you know, that would had the paradoxical effect of undermining their intent. But when I read them just in the past handful of years, the experience was instead one of, "Yes, that's EXACTLY how it is!" I felt a deep thrill of repeated confirmation, page after page, at seeing my own seeing articulated so very well, in brilliant sets of metaphors and rhetorical framings. (And of course that very feeling of primal confirmation when reading someone else's work is the single most direct clue that you're being influenced.)
Wheeler has been pivotal for me, too, as has Rupert Spira and scientific researchers like Bernardo Kastrup and Donald Hoffman. Where John Wheeler loses me at bit is in the discussion about, and seeming dismissal of relative reality. He, and most classic non-dual teachers, hammer on the non-existence of the individual self and retreat into mental gymnastics about there being no such thing as a person. I grok this, but I also find that absolutist view to be unhelpful in my everyday life if not balanced with acknowledging consensus reality. Though I'm not of the Matrix, so to speak, I'm certainly in it... seemingly, by choice on some level. It's all a wonderful and entirely absurd thing, attempting to explain Reality. But it is fun. : )
Everybody you're naming has factored into my own understanding as well. Regarding Wheeler and dismissal of relative reality, I know what you're talking about, of course. For me, the thing is that the most clear and direct expressions of the nondual truth naturally evoke or articulate that very absolutist aspect, which is utterly real and, in the final analysis, just the case. But yes, the relative realm of the appearance is real, too, as an appearance, and is just fine. The sense of hesitance or inability that I have sometimes felt in the form of a confusion about how to resolve the tension between the absolute and the relative has consistently dissolved every time I remember that it's ultimately a false dichotomy. One that's helpful and valuable, and even necessary, as a stage of understanding, but that helpfully delivers its own dissolution upon close consideration. Learning to surf the sweet spot where motiveless-ness meets karmic or daimonic motivation -- basically, learning wu wei -- has become pretty much my core discipline and fascination, one that I have returned to repeatedly in my Living Dark posts, especially the ones on creativity and writing, where this dynamic plays out continually.
Dang, you write well! The dang part is me wishing I could organize my thoughts as succinctly and lay them down with your enviable skill set. I remember a teacher had a sign over his classroom door that said, “Reality vs expectation = disappointment.” To me that seemed like such a negative message to bestow upon malleable minds. But as I’ve grown I see the correlation and have learned to temper my expectations.
That's very kind, Nita. Thank you. The words usually feel blunt when they come out. I'm always hitting publish with a feeling of, "Well, I hope this is good enough." I'm glad they resonate sometimes. And it sounds like your teacher was on to something. I've learned that it's not really my expectations or preferences. that lead to disappointment. We all have preferences and expectations. I sure do. But, it's the attachment to those expectations that sidetrack me.
I love this! I couldn't agree more and was tickled by your naming and anthropomorphizing your "crunchiness." It got me to thinking about my own. Snarky Maxine from the Hallmark cards came to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. I'll find her. Thanks for a good read and fun musing!
What a different way of looking at life's struggles. I like the idea of "resistance" being a sign we're growing, not failing. It's easy to get stuck blaming everything but ourselves when things are tough. By taking responsibility for our own happiness and letting go of negativity, we can create a ripple effect of positivity outward. That's a pretty powerful idea, Kevin!
I remember the first time, many years ago, when I was smacked in the face with this idea. I was listening to a meeting the late Anthony DeMello held. "There's nothing wrong with life!" he said. "It's all inside of YOU." His book Awareness is essentially a transcript of that meeting if you're interested in checking it out: https://www.amazon.com/Awareness-Anthony-DeMello/dp/0006275192
48.25?! I have totally done this: on a tight budget, checking out with a basket full of groceries, hoping the total doesn't hit THAT number and instead hits the OTHER number that I have in my bank account, and then as I'm watching the checkout clerk drag items across the scanner, I curse under my breath as it surprisingly jumps fifteen dollars over what I hoped it would be, wondering why we ever thought we needed asparagus this week.
Stupid chicken.
I laughed out loud about this. It’s funny how much resistance prices can bring up. But prices are just prices. But the grocery bill, especially if you have kids, is a recipe for a bad mood. Sometimes I try reversing this- saying, yay I’m so grateful I’ve got that 48$ for chicken. And we definitely need the asparagus.
Asparagus is a non-negotiable for sure.
This essay is so amazingly good. Exquisite, even. Thank you from the heart. As I read it, I noticed it resonating in my thoughts and soul space with some other people's articulations of the same point, as vividly insightful writings like this always do. Sailor Bob Adamson and his famous line, "What's wrong with right now if you don't think about it?" Ralph Waldo Emerson in his essay on the Over-Soul pointing out that if you really do believe in this shared center of being, then you have to accept and embrace that the daily events of life's unfolding are exactly as they should be all the time, just as much when things don't go "your way" is when they do go "your way." J. Krishnamurti's famous offer to that California crowd, "Would you like to know my secret?" followed by his conventionally anticlimactic statement, "I don't mind what happens." Your essay pairs quite nicely with all of those, with a very helpful inclusion of current and updated cultural references to drive home the ever-present applicability of the point.
Thank you for the kind words, Matt. That means a lot. You're the only person who has ever mentioned Sailor Bob Adamson. I love that guy... and John Wheeler as well. As far as spiritual literature goes, I find they're both greatly under-appreciated. I love their pointings, as well as Krishnamurti and Emerson. I'm glad I was able to add a little something to the conversation.
John Wheeler may be the single most important nondual writer/exponent for me at this point. Both his style of expression and his specific angle of speaking about nonduality articulate and clarify my own deepest intuition, my own first-person seeing, to an extent that few others have ever done. I regret that I came to him late, apparently after the end of his public teaching career.
The other two who have bowled me over and assumed preeminent place in the past few years are David Carse with his PERFECT BRILLIANT STILLNESS and William Samuel with his A GUIDE TO AWARENESS AND TRANQUILITY. I think they came to me at just the right point. Formerly, in past years, I would have read them and felt an intense and tantalizing longing to see, understand, and experience what they describe and point to. As you know, that would had the paradoxical effect of undermining their intent. But when I read them just in the past handful of years, the experience was instead one of, "Yes, that's EXACTLY how it is!" I felt a deep thrill of repeated confirmation, page after page, at seeing my own seeing articulated so very well, in brilliant sets of metaphors and rhetorical framings. (And of course that very feeling of primal confirmation when reading someone else's work is the single most direct clue that you're being influenced.)
Wheeler has been pivotal for me, too, as has Rupert Spira and scientific researchers like Bernardo Kastrup and Donald Hoffman. Where John Wheeler loses me at bit is in the discussion about, and seeming dismissal of relative reality. He, and most classic non-dual teachers, hammer on the non-existence of the individual self and retreat into mental gymnastics about there being no such thing as a person. I grok this, but I also find that absolutist view to be unhelpful in my everyday life if not balanced with acknowledging consensus reality. Though I'm not of the Matrix, so to speak, I'm certainly in it... seemingly, by choice on some level. It's all a wonderful and entirely absurd thing, attempting to explain Reality. But it is fun. : )
Everybody you're naming has factored into my own understanding as well. Regarding Wheeler and dismissal of relative reality, I know what you're talking about, of course. For me, the thing is that the most clear and direct expressions of the nondual truth naturally evoke or articulate that very absolutist aspect, which is utterly real and, in the final analysis, just the case. But yes, the relative realm of the appearance is real, too, as an appearance, and is just fine. The sense of hesitance or inability that I have sometimes felt in the form of a confusion about how to resolve the tension between the absolute and the relative has consistently dissolved every time I remember that it's ultimately a false dichotomy. One that's helpful and valuable, and even necessary, as a stage of understanding, but that helpfully delivers its own dissolution upon close consideration. Learning to surf the sweet spot where motiveless-ness meets karmic or daimonic motivation -- basically, learning wu wei -- has become pretty much my core discipline and fascination, one that I have returned to repeatedly in my Living Dark posts, especially the ones on creativity and writing, where this dynamic plays out continually.
Dang, you write well! The dang part is me wishing I could organize my thoughts as succinctly and lay them down with your enviable skill set. I remember a teacher had a sign over his classroom door that said, “Reality vs expectation = disappointment.” To me that seemed like such a negative message to bestow upon malleable minds. But as I’ve grown I see the correlation and have learned to temper my expectations.
That's very kind, Nita. Thank you. The words usually feel blunt when they come out. I'm always hitting publish with a feeling of, "Well, I hope this is good enough." I'm glad they resonate sometimes. And it sounds like your teacher was on to something. I've learned that it's not really my expectations or preferences. that lead to disappointment. We all have preferences and expectations. I sure do. But, it's the attachment to those expectations that sidetrack me.
Great way to break down complex thoughts and facts vs. story.
Thanks Heather!
I love this! I couldn't agree more and was tickled by your naming and anthropomorphizing your "crunchiness." It got me to thinking about my own. Snarky Maxine from the Hallmark cards came to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. I'll find her. Thanks for a good read and fun musing!
My daughter actually invokes Maxine, too, when she's feeling snarky or crunchy. : )
What a different way of looking at life's struggles. I like the idea of "resistance" being a sign we're growing, not failing. It's easy to get stuck blaming everything but ourselves when things are tough. By taking responsibility for our own happiness and letting go of negativity, we can create a ripple effect of positivity outward. That's a pretty powerful idea, Kevin!
I remember the first time, many years ago, when I was smacked in the face with this idea. I was listening to a meeting the late Anthony DeMello held. "There's nothing wrong with life!" he said. "It's all inside of YOU." His book Awareness is essentially a transcript of that meeting if you're interested in checking it out: https://www.amazon.com/Awareness-Anthony-DeMello/dp/0006275192
That's a powerful quote from Anthony DeMello! It's amazing how something so simple can be so profound. Thanks for the recommendation!
You’re very welcome. There are some videos of him on YouTube that are great, too, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Great read Kevin!❤️
Thanks Wayne! And thank you for sharing it with others.
Beautifully articulated as always Kevin! $48 chicken and $11 capsicums (in my neck of the woods) are certainly potent spiritual experiences…
This was such a great reminder to work from the inside out mate, thank you.
Thanks Jesse!
Where there is resistance, that is where we need to focus. ❤️
Indeed! So simple and I still forget it or fight it.